A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said,

"See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down

on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off.

And see this thing? This steers it."

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know

the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be

out that long..."

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you

see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get

pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it

clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go."

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in

their right mind would park in the passing lane?"

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,

then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

Hahaha these are great!

Should be added to jokes thread.

Re-posted plus more in the jokes area.

Great