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WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes ...

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same ...

A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick ...

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given
by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars ...

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.

The car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."

The Electrical Engineer said, "I ...

A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the ...

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It ...

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if ...

The jokes just got lost back somewhere...
Ah, here they are!!!
http://www.ontariohighwaytrafficact.com/topic388.html

Good jokes though

Just did some physics here...

If a 1000-kg car goes at a speed of 108 km/hr (=30m/s - physics!) it will take approximately 51 metres for the vehicle to stop completely (that is assuming that the coefficient of friction between the tires and the road is 0.9 - pulled out of the physics textbook).

If the same vehicle travels at a speed of 113 km/hr ...

Good luck with that!

$500 is likely better than $100 paid monthly for 3 years...

Reflections wrote:And they don't worry about maintenance......

The maintenance costs go on the clients...

Yeah, but who'd buy a 6.0 L-V8-engine gas guzzler these days?

Well, the good thing is that there is a mandatory court date, because there you can sue the Crown for theft right on the spot!

BelSlySTi wrote:

hwybear wrote:
Ontario gov't doesn't gets squat from tickets......all goes to Municipalities

Does that include the Licence reinstatement fee that is paid to the MTO?

Is that a ticket though?

"highway" includes a common and public, highway, street, avenue, parkway, driveway, square, place, bridge, viaduct or trestle, any part of which is intended for or used by the general public for the passage of vehicles and includes the area between the lateral property lines thereof; ("voie publique")

Where I bolded, because commas are only used ...

Sometimes I feel lucky we live in Ontario.

AND IF YOU ARE FANTINO IT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT FOR YOU TO DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO(make my life, and lives of those living, working, and driving here miserable)!!!

Virginia, about a year and a half ago, introduced a ticket, the total fines of which are $3550 US. There is a whole slew of offences ...

Reflections wrote:Rename the web site

Ontario Traffic Confussion
Rules you may understand one day

Nah, this is a good domain name, besides there is too much work involved, the traffic will drop to the floor (we've been up for 15 months now, that's quite some time as far as web is concerned). Good point though, it speaks volumes of OHTA.

guess a way to look at it is that the HTA itself is basic. To clarify some sections the gov't (in their wisdom :roll: ) adds in a regulation which now supersedes the HTA or clarifies the HTA.

ontario elaws, then search, instead of typing in HTA, click on the letter "H". scroll down to the Highway Traffic Act, then click on the "plus" sign, this ...

hwybear wrote:You referred to HTA section 8.......
there is an an HTA, Ontario Regulation 628....that is up/beyond HTA sec 8.
(something like driver's licences are section 32, but there is an HTA OREG 340/94). There are also quite a few permit stipulations in HTA sec 7.

Oh man, which ones do I have to read on top of OHTA itself then?

HTA OREG 628 Vehicle Permits

8. (1) It is a condition applying to every permit, that it bear the signature of the holder thereof, written in ink.

(2) Where the permit holder is a corporation, the signature of a person authorized to sign on behalf of the corporation is compliance with subsection (1).

*********************
I always get the owner ...

hwybear wrote:that is good.....almost worth an avatar change.......but "who would protect the donuts?"

This guy!

Congrats on successfully beating your charge.

Plead guilty with an explanation is still pleading guilty. What is your permit signed with? Pencil? Usually the cops would let you sign that permit and be done with that.

Were you charged with 8(1)? Look here and see if it says anywhere that the permit must be signed in any manner. Nowhere. That is how you defeat the charge - it was mislaid.

a) reject the offer unless it is agood one

b) Yes

c) Yes

d) You are requesting a stay based on not getting the disclosure on time.

Prosecutor will try to reschedule, to which you object AGAIN, saying that you do not want to miss work for 2-nd time, and you can use the argument that it is taking too long. DO NOT ACCEPT THE DATE.

Disabled person parking permits

26. (1) The Minister shall issue a disabled person parking permit to every person or organization that applies therefor and meets the requirements of the regulations. R.S.O. 1990, c. H.8, s. 26 (1).

Term

(2) A disabled person parking permit is in force during the period of time shown on the permit. R.S.O. 1990 ...

Offence, disabled person parking permit

27. (1) No person shall,

(a) have in his or her possession a disabled person parking permit that is fictitious, altered or fraudulently obtained;

(b) display a disabled person parking permit otherwise than in accordance with the regulations;

(c) fail or refuse to surrender a disabled person parking ...

Inspection, disabled person parking permit

28. (1) Every person having possession of a disabled person parking permit shall, upon the demand of a police officer, police cadet, municipal law enforcement officer or an officer appointed for carrying out the provisions of this Act, surrender the permit for reasonable inspection to ensure that the ...