I found this funny...

By The Canadian Press

WOODSTOCK, Ont. - Drivers have heard it's dangerous to drive while using a cellphone.

But now police are warning about the hazards of grabbing breakfast behind the wheel.

Ontario Provincial Police responded Friday to a single-vehicle crash and found a young woman covered in milk and cereal.

Police say the 21-year-old woman was trying to eat cereal with a bowl and spoon while driving in icy conditions on Highway 7 in Wellington County when she lost control and crashed into guide posts.

Police say the woman was not hurt, but she was embarrassed.

Sounds like the bilingual defence argument will be required in this case.

Next time she should use a TV tray:

Close friend of mine used to be an Ottawa cop. Responds to a single-vehicle crash on St. Laurent Boulevard, car's planted into a traffic light and knocked it down. Dry road, good visibility, witnesses say the guy just suddenly dove off the road and nailed the pole.

Turns out the driver was... um... engaged in the act of "pleasuring" himself while operating a motor vehicle, which resulted in him losing control and crashing. Upon seeing the cop car he gets out of his car with his pants around his ankles.

He was charged with careless driving, and for being as stupid as pig dribble.